Rebellious Hope

Jane Marczewski, in a tweet, once said, “Some people will call it ‘blind denial’ but I prefer to call it rebellious hope.”

This, said by a woman who had a 2% chance of overcoming cancer. Who had a million dreams to live for. Who inspired just as many people with her golden buzzer performance of her original song, “It’s Okay.”

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Setting Off Toward Home

Three years ago to the day, I was carting a U-haul to Oklahoma, my would-be home. Not knowing a soul there, apart from the people I’d interviewed with at my new job, I remember setting off into the sunrise and being as excited as I was scared. 

Up until five weeks previous, when I was offered the job, I’d been drifting from one short-term home to another for over a year. I was soul-weary from doors closing in my face and in my heart. From wandering and wondering. From staring at a horizon that held no promise.

Deep inside me, I knew I wasn’t going to stay where I was forever. But I had no idea how I was going to get out of there, or where I was going to go next.

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Hindsight: What I Now See

I discovered this post in my drafts, where it had lingered for three years. It helped me remember the creativity and goodness in God’s plans, so I’m sharing it in the hope that it will encourage someone else.

I recently caught a view that took my breath away. It was on a hike (I still haven’t completed it yet, but more on that in a bit.) The last few miles seemed more downhill than upward. Talk about demoralizing. It was a stretch of mostly shadow, with certainly no view of the top.

But then—a sharp bend and a sudden lookout! And though I could not stop, I looked back from there, and I could see the view of the last portion I’d traversed. And it wasn’t nearly as ugly as I thought. In fact, its ruggedness made it beautiful.

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Simply, Complexly Human

All of us, so simple…

We eat, we sleep, we live.

We work to live, and work takes our life.

We breathe, we bleed, we try.

All of us hurting…

We feel, we hurt, we hide.

We hide the pain and the pain hides us.

We fake, we ache, we wonder why.

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A Starbucks Script: as told by baristas

What would the script look like if Starbucks baristas could make an honest welcome video? Probably something like this…


Manager/barista: “Hello, welcome to America’s favorite barely-coffee shop. Fall is only nine months away, so that could mean just one thing: you’re wanting to order a pumpkin spice salted caramel chai mocha frappuccino. Let me get that started for you. Your total today is a mere $25.73.”

Barista 1: Many customers comment that it’s hard to remember what our sizes are. Here’s a tip to help you remember: tall is small (and small is tall), venti is plenty, and at only 12,000 calories, grande is…just right.

Barista 2: All baristas love making frappuccinos. In fact, we look forward to when school goes back so that we can see the kids before and after school each day ordering the ten-step drink and spending their parents’ money wisely.Continue reading “A Starbucks Script: as told by baristas”

Serving vs. Selling

So many thoughts rummaging around in my head these days, but one that has emerged in some state of cohesiveness to ponder with you all is about marketing. And yet it also isn’t.

Let me explain. I was reading a fantastic article about marketing by author and writing coach K.M. Weiland recently. (Or, more accurately, I was listening to its podcast while I picked raspberries.) Considering I’ve been there and back again with agents and editors, having come so closeContinue reading “Serving vs. Selling”

One More Day – A Poem

“Heart, where are you?” I said.

But my voice came back hollow.

“Surely you’re not dead…

Don’t go where I can’t follow.

“Dawn can’t stay always away,

So turn your face to the sky.

Hope can’t stay forever at bay,

Awake; lift your head high.”

Only silence from the depth,

Just as still as before.

But this was life or death,

So I tried once more.

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The Jonah Within

There are few Bible personalities I really connect with. You know: Ruth was so good, and Esther was fearless and beautiful, and Mary was amazing. Paul is hard for me to get my head around, and the disciples, well, they were interesting and funny, but relatable? Well, maybe not so much.

But start talking about Jonah, and I’m right there with you. Somewhere amidst that moody, intense, prophet nature, I sense a personality at war with itself. He knew what was right, but he also knew himself. Maybe even doubted himself. And feared failure. And likely even feared success.Continue reading “The Jonah Within”

If Infinity Is the End

For one moment last month, I thought I was going to die.

And now that you probably have a vision of me flipping a car or falling off a roof, I must admit it was nothing so dramatic. I was struggling to breathe, choking on a bite of food I’d hoped would give me the energy I needed before I dashed out again for a job interview. Nonetheless, when the Heimlich maneuver didn’t work for the second time and I feared making the problem worse, a thought came like a whisper: is this it?

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Embracing the Struggle

You know when you hear a morsel of truth and all you can do is slap the nearest desk and say, “Yes! YES!”?

That recently happened to me when I ran across this quote by Madeleine L’Engle:

“Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God and not in God himself.”

file1701347712205 - CopyIs it just me or does that quote make you also think of Jacob and how he wrestled with God (Genesis 32: 24-28)? The story has always intrigued me, probably because I’ve struggled with God for as long as I can remember. In this path of faith, I do my best to follow, but it’s hard, it doesn’t always make sense, and I crave more answers than I’m given. While I know there’s no other way, it’s still an uphill climb. But I know I walk closer to God because of it.

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