Three years ago to the day, I was carting a U-haul to Oklahoma, my would-be home. Not knowing a soul there, apart from the people I’d interviewed with at my new job, I remember setting off into the sunrise and being as excited as I was scared.
Up until five weeks previous, when I was offered the job, I’d been drifting from one short-term home to another for over a year. I was soul-weary from doors closing in my face and in my heart. From wandering and wondering. From staring at a horizon that held no promise.
Deep inside me, I knew I wasn’t going to stay where I was forever. But I had no idea how I was going to get out of there, or where I was going to go next.
The first time I traveled to Oklahoma for my final job interview, as I crossed the state line, I noted out loud, as if to remind the Lord, that Oklahoma “even has ‘home’ in its name.”
That’s how homesick I was for a place I’d never seen.
By the time I was officially moving to Oklahoma, I’d secured an apartment. My new home was nine hours away in Broken Arrow/Tulsa. I didn’t know yet if I even liked the place. But all roads pointed this way, and off I went, ready or not.
As I squinted into the sunrise that November morning, watching my Uhaul being pulled by my parents, I could no longer bear the silence in my car. I flipped on the radio, and “Well Done” by the Afters came on.
And then I lost it.
As hopeful as I was for my new home/future that I’d prayed for, I knew deep down that it was going to be hard and lonely. I was at peace, but even so, I hoped Jesus was saying, “Well done,” in that moment, confirming that the pain and fear were nothing when held next to obedience.
Because as much as I wanted to do the right thing, to please God, to take the leap, in that moment, the longing for home—true home—overwhelmed me. Months and months of hope and longing had opened slits in my heart like drought opens cracks in the soil.
“Well Done” by The Afters
What will it be like when my pain is gone
And all the worries of this world just fade away?
What will it be like when You call my name
And that moment when I see You face to face?
I’m waiting my whole life to hear You say
Chorus: Well done, well done
My good and faithful one
Welcome to the place where you belong
Well done, well done
My beloved child
You have run the race and now you’re home
Welcome to the place where you belong
What will it be like when tears are washed away
And every broken thing will finally be made whole?
What will it be like when I come into Your glory
Standing in the presence of a love so beautiful?
I’m waiting my whole life for that day
I will live my life to hear You say (to chorus)
As such, the soil of my heart was ready to sprout growth in my new home. And I really think I have bloomed where I’ve been planted, because I was finally ready to let my roots down somewhere.
And, except for finding someone to grow old with, I can say I’ve experienced everything in my new home that my heart longed for: friendships, adventures, fun, community, financial provision, a deeper relationship with God…and a home of my own.
And yet, I’m not home yet. None of us are. With one hand, I can truly lift my hand in gratitude to God for these past three years, and with the other, cover my heart and whisper, “Keep leading me home.”
The home I see when I close my eyes in such moments is where he’s waiting for me, where I’m greeted with a hug and I crumple at the words, “Well done.”
Until then, I’ll keep hauling onward into the sunrise…
6 thoughts on “Setting Off Toward Home”
Meagan, beautifully written. Our God does have a special home for us – but He also blesses us here on earth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen. Thanks, DiAnn!
Meagan, two Fridays ago I was asked by an old friend who’d just lost his big sister to accompany his wife in “Well Done” at his sister’s memorial. I had never heard the song but really loved it when I did. We performed the song this past Friday. I told a writer/rider friend about it yesterday. He in turn sent me the link to your post today, which I thought was well-written and touching. You have a new blog follower because of it. Just thought I’d share how sometimes events can connect us all. I haven’t been blogging as much recently as I had been, but perhaps this will give me some inspiration. Keep writing and good luck!
Hello, Andrew! So glad to connect with you. And thank you for sharing; it’s always great to hear how we are connected through words and art. I have only recently started blogging again after a long gap. Best wishes with your writing!
You have such a beautiful talent in making your experiences come alive through your writing. It was truly a joy to feel like apart of the journey as you express your zeal for life; your hopes, your dreams, and fears. Thank you for using what God has given you to bless others!
So glad you enjoyed the journey, Jonathan! May the words here point everyone who reads them to God!