“Heart, where are you?” I said.
But my voice came back hollow.
“Surely you’re not dead…
Don’t go where I can’t follow.
“Dawn can’t stay always away,
So turn your face to the sky.
Hope can’t stay forever at bay,
Awake; lift your head high.”
Only silence from the depth,
Just as still as before.
But this was life or death,
So I tried once more.
It was as if an old version of me stood before the current me, whispering a lesson I’d forgotten.
I was kneeling next to my bookcase, an old Bible study guide in my lap. Moments before, out of nowhere, I’d gotten the overwhelming urge to clear through my bookcase. I’d pulled all the donatable books two weeks ago, but today, I’d decided that wasn’t enough; I had to get rid of some others. They wouldn’t be donated, just put out of sight.
Even though I was being rather fast and furious in my “everything, be gone” spree, there was one book I had the urge to flip through. I’d been doing shockingly well not flipping (as book lovers are often wont to do), but I couldn’t resist this urge as I held the old Bible study guide, even though it evoked bittersweet feelings. Continue reading “Spiraling Down, Inching Closer (There’s More series, pt. 6)”
I don’t often write—let alone share—poetry, but today I felt lead to share a sample. It was written a few years back in another country by what feels like another person, but the truth of what God was showing me at the time remains unchanged. Hope it speaks to someone.
Jewels
“Why me?” I cry to God
Under the weight of pain.
“It’s too hard, it’s not fair,
I’ll never make it,” I complain.
.
So lost in me I think
That no one suffers as I do.
“No one knows or cares.
No one know what I go through.”
.
“Not so,” You tell me.
“Did I not suffer and die?
I Who bore the sins of man,
Who knows more so than I?
.
“I Who raise the dead to life,
And turned water into wine,
Whose love required sacrifice—
I know what’s best for Mine.
.
“For the promise of glory,
I suffered willingly.
I place hard things in your life
To make you more like Me.
.
“Show Me what you’ve lost,
I’ll show what you’ve gained.
From my hand, dear child,
I give jewels out of pain.
.
“You won’t find them in your scars,
But in the days ahead you’ll see
From the suffering of today,
I’ve sown seeds that honor Me.”
.
“Jewels” Copyright Meagan Briggs 2011
You know when you hear a morsel of truth and all you can do is slap the nearest desk and say, “Yes! YES!”?
That recently happened to me when I ran across this quote by Madeleine L’Engle:
“Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God and not in God himself.”
Is it just me or does that quote make you also think of Jacob and how he wrestled with God (Genesis 32: 24-28)? The story has always intrigued me, probably because I’ve struggled with God for as long as I can remember. In this path of faith, I do my best to follow, but it’s hard, it doesn’t always make sense, and I crave more answers than I’m given. While I know there’s no other way, it’s still an uphill climb. But I know I walk closer to God because of it.
