A Starbucks Script: as told by baristas

What would the script look like if Starbucks baristas could make an honest welcome video? Probably something like this…


Manager/barista: “Hello, welcome to America’s favorite barely-coffee shop. Fall is only nine months away, so that could mean just one thing: you’re wanting to order a pumpkin spice salted caramel chai mocha frappuccino. Let me get that started for you. Your total today is a mere $25.73.”

Barista 1: Many customers comment that it’s hard to remember what our sizes are. Here’s a tip to help you remember: tall is small (and small is tall), venti is plenty, and at only 12,000 calories, grande is…just right.

Barista 2: All baristas love making frappuccinos. In fact, we look forward to when school goes back so that we can see the kids before and after school each day ordering the ten-step drink and spending their parents’ money wisely. Continue reading “A Starbucks Script: as told by baristas”