I’ve decided, here at the end of 2017, to wrap up the “There’s More” series.
But the journey isn’t ending—just the blog posts.
This series began with hope, and it’s ending with hope. It began with a life-long desire to understand God’s love. At times throughout the series, especially when life got messy, that goal was not at the forefront of my mind. But it seems like the less I’ve blogged about there being more, the more I’ve witnessed it. I haven’t posted consistently because I wanted this series to come from the overflow. I didn’t want my posts to be dry words from a dry heart. Honestly, for most of 2017, I’ve been churning with more questions than answers.
I’ll admit, I’ve been angry at God in this season for taking away some things without replacing them and for seemingly leaving me in the dark. I’ve screamed at Him for being silent and for not taking away the pain. And then I’ve apologized like a scared child, afraid my honesty would drive Him off when He’s the only hope I have.
But lately, God has begun showing me what I’ve always suspected: He’s not the God I thought I knew. Just the other day, I listened thirstily to my friend’s perspective of God’s love. She described God as a God who loves constantly and consistently, who grieves with us and counts our tears. And even as I wondered why I’d believed something else all my life, I thought how glad I was to be wrong.
“There’s More” has essentially turned into “He’s More.” He’s more caring than I thought. He’s more attentive than I believed. He’s more present than I hoped. And to think, without this rock-bottom season, I wouldn’t have known.
And so, it might seem counterintuitive to end the series now when I seem to be at the crucial point in the journey, but I feel the need to continue alone. Thank you to all who read along with me these past months. I hope your own journey to deeply know the “more” of God and His love will thrive.
I wrote a song a few months ago, and I think the last verse is a fitting description of where “There’s More” has led me. A last verse for a last post…
When everyone I once leaned on
Is gone and I’m alone,
You are still the God who loves me so,
Sovereign through the highs and lows.
I’ll lean on You, trust You anew;
You are my Lord, the only one I need.