When I stood on the safe side of a recent decision, it looked daring; on the other side—the 20/20 side—it looked crazy.
This whole series has been about knowing there’s more than what I (or we) typically experience and/or understand about God, His love, and our relationship. I know there’s so much more to the Christian life, a richness of love and intimacy and adventure and meaning and, well, even craziness that most of us do not typically touch on any given day. Life gets so hum-drum and we get so short-sided, when, all along, there is a current of deeper importance running parallel to this thing we call “living life.” Only every now and then do we glance over at it, dip our toes in, or take pictures of it. But I know God meant this Christian life for so much more.
But diving into this current is not just a one-jump-and-you’re-done deal. I’ve learned that it’s a leap of faith in every aspect of one’s life, trusting God with each facet on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.
There’s just one problem: it requires a lot of faith. For me lately, I’ve wondered if it will require all the faith I have, all the while revealing how little I have, in order to give me more than I’ve ever had before.
Which brings me back to my decision…
This past summer, life changed a lot. (Thus the absence of posts lately.) I shan’t get into details, but some changes required close-your-eyes-and-jump leaps of faith. I resigned from my job despite the fact that I did not know what the next step was and even though I’d be taking on more financial responsibilities with other new circumstances. There were many internal and external factors to my decisions, and I trusted God was leading me in this direction.
Maybe, just maybe, I thought everything would have worked out before now. But it hasn’t. I’m still free-falling after this step of faith. But you know what? Though I have days I’m afraid I’m going to slam into the proverbial ground, there are twice as many days that I wonder why I’m not freaking out. And, it’s always turned out that every day I have my daily bread. Because God loves me and knows me and my needs and because He keeps His promises, I have only one way before me: whichever way He chooses. Maybe it will mean death—to my dreams, to my finances, to all that I once trusted in—but sometimes life only comes after death (John 12:24).
Fortunately for us, God’s faithfulness is not based on our actions or even our level of faith. It’s based on who He is. And so, just as we can trust that gravity will always apply whether we believe in it or not, we can be sure God will never be contrary to His character.
One day, maybe I’ll share what I’ve learned in this new season, but for now I’ll just say that the “There’s More” pursuit is an adventure. It chose me more than I chose it, but because there is more, there’s no other way I’d now choose.
And so I keep choosing it.
I hope you do too.