Hard Decisions

Today, I declined an offer I’ve always dreamed of accepting.

Two months ago, when I received the email with the writing-related offer, I was flattered and excited, but for various reasons, it was not possible for me to immediately accept. There was a difficult decision before me. It was as if I’d been walking along the writer’s path, my head down in determination, when I was suddenly startled to find an intersection leading in two very opposite directions. From where I stood with obstructed visibility, either choice was risky and daunting.

“Yes or no?” I prayed, looking frantically to the left and right. “I don’t want to make a mistake.”

But rather than say “Right” or “Left,” God said in a dozen different ways, “Trust me.”

I knew I would need strength, help, and wisdom if I veered down either way because either decision would require an equal-sized leap of faith. And a whole heap of trust.

“I’ll trust You,” I found myself praying. “But I still need to know how to decide!”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’ve never been a decisive person. Suddenly, I had the utmost sympathy for the main character of my current work-in-progress. Because she made a poor choice which drastically altered her life, she’s been indecisive and terrified of making a mistake ever since. When she’s faced with three life-altering decisions–of which only one can be right–she feels…well, a lot like I did. I admit, I felt like writing her a note of apology for underestimating the struggle she was going through.

Like my protagonist, I delayed my decision. I wrestled with it, stewed on it, and lost sleep over it. Needless to say, it brought me to my knees more than once. Writing has always been the tool God uses to teach me some of my greatest life lessons. Through it, He prunes, stretches, and teaches me. As I prayed for wisdom and the ability to make the right decision, He showed me a lot about what I am and what I need to be. He showed me a different dimension of His will. He showed me how peace is a byproduct of faith. And He showed me that the dream He gave me is safe in His hands.

If you’re struggling with a decision or don’t know where to go with your dream, I encourage you to seek wisdom from the One who looks back on the future. He is sovereign over every decision.

Now it’s your turn to share! Has an impossible choice ever kept you from making a decision?